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Friday, September 12, 2014

The Most Innovative Apple Product Since the iPad

Hello again! It's been somewhere near 100 days since my last post, so I've decided to reassure everyone that, yes, I am still very much alive. Writing means the world to me. It's difficult to fully grasp the beauty of writing; I feel very few things are on par with it (reading being one, of course.) I can channel my thoughts into a series of patterned lines and semicircles and almost magically, it will blend into an informative, yet unique work of art. This, obviously, doesn't only apply to me, but to everyone who writes original work. (I am breaking just about every writing rule in my journalism class, though this isn't exactly a journalism paper, either, now is it?)

Today, I am in the mood to write about one of my two infamous favorite blog topics: National Geographic and new tech, this one being the latter.

Everyone is anticipating the 6. It's bigger, faster, and counts how many stairs you've climbed. Though I, personally, think this next gadget will be responsible for the Smartphone Apocalypse. This is the first major new Apple product since the iPad. The iPhone has been around for some time now, so I was just about as happy for its latest evolution as I was to eat spaghetti for dinner. But. This. Is. Just. Something. Else.
What do you get when you cross a watch with a smartphone and a pulse monitor? THE APPLE WATCH!!!! I mean, that grand title preludes to arguably the best combination of the past decade. Or is it? The Apple Watch seems to be something you either LOVE LOVE LOVE or simply detest. 


Just look at it! It's adorable! Who WOULDN'T want to wear their smile on their sleeve? This isn't the watch itself, (of course) for how would you tell time? (Happy face = 3:00?) It's actually just one of the numerous things the Apple Watch can do, which is to allow you to create your own emojis. I'm not even kidding! You can tap and edit the smiley face to switch it into a sad face or angry face or confused face or bored face or grumpy face or nondescript face, etc... 


And even better, you can draw! Just when we thought tablets were the future of sketching with their super gigantic screens and fine retina displays, some watch the size of a silver dollar comes along and puts tablets on the verge of extinction with its evident mass-appeal to the world's finest artists. I mean, this takes doodling to the next level. Adults will rediscover the joys of drawing. A new generation of world famous artists will be born. The next time you walk into MoMA, there will be 1.5" sketches collaged onto every wall you dare to look at. What better way to express your inner creativity than sketch your masterpiece on a watch-like device on the convenience of your very own wrist? 


"Oh, the agony of choosing a watch." "Oh, how we all hate choosing a watch." "Oh, how terribly boring choosing a watch is." Have you ever heard yourself exclaiming these phrases? If so, the Apple Watch may be just your cup of tea. When you choose a watch, you have to look at the thousands of different dials and thousands of different straps and the millions of combinations of the two available. Then you have to decide (*sigh*) out of the millions of combinations (*sigh*) which watch strikes your fancy. However, when deciding on an iPad, you have two options: black or white. Then you can buy several interchangeable cases, one for your every mood, which you currently can't do with watches. 
Thankfully, the Apple Watch comes in few, yet distinct dial/strap combinations. The Apple Watch's face is equivalent to a screensaver/wallpaper. You could change it every ten minutes for all I care. So as trends evolve, instead of purchasing a new watch and going through the agony mentioned in detail above, you simply change the wallpaper. Now that's not so hard, is it?


Everyone loves Siri, Apple's charismatic virtual assistant. Siri is a philosophical guide built into your iDevice, whom you may ask any question your heart desires, from "Will I need an umbrella today?" to "What is your take on Samsung?" to "What do you look like?" Siri is guaranteed to give polite and honest answers that will ever so slightly improve your quality of life. Sometimes it's even hard to believe we are talking to a database, opposed to a person, about the latest Giants' game, or sometimes, Eliza AI. Customers rejoice as Apple has settled on including our beloved Siri in the Apple Watch.




I'm pretty sure you've already noticed that I have refrained from calling it the "iWatch." Although it is extremely tempting to call it that, and of course noticeably less syllables, this watch is not the iWatch, it is simply the Apple Watch. But why? Doesn't the name iWatch have a better ring to it? Apparently not, according to speculators. Apparently, the "iWatch" would be an item only reclusive people who didn't care about their appearance at all would wear, thus a commercial failure. However, the Apple Watch sounds sophisticated, stylish, and fair game to trade your Rolex for. Why is this? We have come to think of Apple's signature "i" as the fore-teller of a "tech" product, not a "fashion" product. The "i" originally stood for Internet on the original iMac, as well as independent, individual, and just plain I. So subconsciously, when we hear the name "iWatch" we think of wearable tech. Nothing more. The "Apple Watch," though, is an accessory, a true watch, that those with style would wear proudly. 


Did you know the Apple Watch can do everything the iPhone can, EXCEPT replace it? I could write an entire novel on the Apple Watch if I were to continue describing all of its features. Again, the Apple Watch is just something else, and just as with all Apple products, it's either THE FUTURE or the next big fad. 



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